girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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