That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
