I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
