i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
