Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
