ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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