The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
