maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
