there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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