He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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