we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My breasts were aching with rage.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
