dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
