Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
