After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
