If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
