matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize