Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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