i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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