I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
