is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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