: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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