are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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