hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
