i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
