lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
