and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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