I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
