dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
