fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i will never coherently bang her
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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