Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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