U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
no, he came in my armpit
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
