like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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