the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
