I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
