I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
