she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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