I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
