Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
