508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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