how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
