new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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