i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
