You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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