I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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