i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I wish you could order shots online.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
