Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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