i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
