You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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