Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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