You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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