The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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