I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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