I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She swung at the pinata with crutches
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
