just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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