dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
