mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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