During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He felt like a one man threesome
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize