I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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