the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
