This dress was meant to end up on your floor
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
