If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
